i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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