somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
