so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
