mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
