physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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