Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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