Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize