There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
