Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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