No awkward lesbian experiences without me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
