Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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