yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
