Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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