dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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