Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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(339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs

Replies (40) Good night (618) Bad night (2644)
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(517): View more from Michigan

If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself

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(517): If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself http://tfl.nu/s6n2

Replies (11) Good night (658) Bad night (3641)
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(416): View more from Ontario

Thursdays are my worst days

(1-416): View more from Ontario

but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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(416): Thursdays are my worst days (1-416): but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay? http://tfl.nu/vmle

Replies (49) Good night (4878) Bad night (740)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.

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(812): Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o2zn

Replies (18) Good night (1495) Bad night (5649)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'

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(+44): He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.' http://tfl.nu/uc3v

Replies (24) Good night (4935) Bad night (1280)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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(402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande

Replies (19) Good night (1888) Bad night (3705)
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(415): View more from California

Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.

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(415): Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself. http://tfl.nu/x6rs

Replies (18) Good night (5517) Bad night (1019)
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(720): View more from Colorado

If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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(720): If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me http://tfl.nu/f7dp

Replies (8) Good night (3255) Bad night (979)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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(610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14

Replies (18) Good night (3985) Bad night (1156)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel awful

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Physically or morally

(513): View more from Ohio

Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

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(513): I feel awful (1-513): Physically or morally (513): Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances. http://tfl.nu/3wvv

Replies (10) Good night (2641) Bad night (769)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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(715): An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all. http://tfl.nu/7eme

Replies (12) Good night (3822) Bad night (814)
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(720): View more from Colorado

The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?

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(720): The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer? http://tfl.nu/dm5m

Replies (8) Good night (569) Bad night (843)
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(816): View more from Missouri

They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.

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(816): They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/cb9a

Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (574)
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(518): View more from New York

Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.

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(518): Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/0iat

Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (561)
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(775): View more from Nevada

She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.

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(775): She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again. http://tfl.nu/g27v

Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (422)

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