you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.