is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.