I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
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It's blow job season.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight