yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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