Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

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  (212): yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money http://tfl.nu/z7es
  Replies (16) Good night (2400) Bad night (832)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

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  (215): I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera http://tfl.nu/ivkx
  Replies (40) Good night (1053) Bad night (2791)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.

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  (781): Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have. http://tfl.nu/ze45
  Replies (8) Good night (3438) Bad night (1206)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing

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  (402): Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing http://tfl.nu/n0bj
  Replies (28) Good night (6279) Bad night (1919)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?

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  (401): I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper? http://tfl.nu/78fg
  Replies (2) Good night (1103) Bad night (2605)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.

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  (865): He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW. http://tfl.nu/b38y
  Replies (16) Good night (2844) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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  (610): Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on (484): Who said I was judging? More like congratulating. http://tfl.nu/coiy
  Replies (10) Good night (2334) Bad night (740)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"

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  (816): You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?" http://tfl.nu/o1ln
  Replies (10) Good night (1934) Bad night (732)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome

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  (443): let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome http://tfl.nu/i2ox
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (723)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

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  (931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (461)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup

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  (812): You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup http://tfl.nu/kydl
  Replies (4) Good night (461) Bad night (635)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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  (413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq
  Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (314)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship

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  (515): I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship http://tfl.nu/py1y
  Replies (1) Good night (952) Bad night (357)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there

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  (440): For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there http://tfl.nu/aljy
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (522)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA

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  (224): I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA http://tfl.nu/rnzu
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (349)

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