no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that