i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
