So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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