she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
