yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dignity is for republicans.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
