and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
