I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize