If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
