i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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