maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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