Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Drunk is not a location!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
