How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
