I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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