I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
