I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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