Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
