What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize