You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
