I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
