You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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