I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
