we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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