He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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