I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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