one might say we're banned from that church
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
