whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
