there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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