my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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