I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
