we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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