Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
