Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
