this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
