you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.