I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel