called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.