oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident