BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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