shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh god it's open bar.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
