he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
