plz talk dirty to me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
