I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
