Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
