His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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