Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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