Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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