And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm too high and old for this...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
