Apparently you make a good broom.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
