Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
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I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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