The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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