We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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