I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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