Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
