how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
