we have officially lost it.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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