Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
